September is here, and for me September is always a time to get back into routine. I always loved the “back to school” season growing up and while in university. I thrive with predictability. And as much as I loved living a bit more spontaneously in the summer (big emphasis on the “a bit” for me) I am always craving more structure by the time September rolls around.

And I am feeling it *extra* this year. 

Don’t get me wrong, we had the BEST summer with O. It’s been an incredible summer filled with late nights making memories and lazy mornings sleeping in with O (sorry Nic who gets up early for work each day). I wouldn’t change a thing. But I am ready to have a bit more of a rhythm and routine to our days again. 

If you’ve been reading along for a while, you likely know that I am a big believer in following rhythms and routines over a schedule when it comes to sleep. I often encourage parents to ditch the clock and follow their baby’s unique cues. I encourage parents to be really attuned to their child and their temperament. Some babies are highly regular, others resist a schedule with all. Their. MIGHT. 

So, how do we strike a balance then in parenthood? How do we go with the flow and follow our child’s cues while also meeting our own needs for structure and routine? In this blog I am going to share with you my four tips for getting back into routine (or creating some predictability) when it comes to your little one’s sleep. 

Consistent Wake-up Time

Bedtime challenges where bedtimes get later and later are one reason families reach out to me for 1:1 sleep support. And most parents are shocked when I suggest working on a consistent wake-up time first. And often they are even a bit resistant. I don’t blame them for this at all… I struggle with this too (hence O sleeping in until 8am the last few weeks of August.) 

However, a consistent wake-up time will help establish your baby’s circadian rhythms, especially when combined with time outdoors within the first hour of waking (see my second tip). The main reason this is often my starting place as opposed to a consistent bedtime is that you have WAY more control over waking up your child then you do getting them to sleep. Think about this for a minute and you will probably recall a night of trying to put your little one to sleep before they were ready and it taking forever, and getting frustrated (I know I have been there…)

The tough truth is that you actually have zero control on when your child falls asleep. You can set them up for success by having a solid bedtime routine, filled with connection and strong sleep associations. You can ensure they have the perfect sleep environment and love their sleep space, but the rest is up to them. They need to have enough sleep pressure to fall asleep. 

And until wake-up and nap times shift earlier, it is hard to move bedtime earlier and still have enough sleep pressure to fall asleep. And stay asleep… because some littles will fall asleep, but without enough pressure end up treating bedtime like a nap… 

Instead of setting yourself up for frustrating bedtime battles, waking them slightly earlier every few days until you reach your ideal wake-up time gives you so much more control. Then consistently wake your little one around the same time everyday (within a half hour is often what I recommend.)

Sunshine within the first hour of waking

Annnd if you can get into sunshine or natural light within an hour of waking, even better! (if you’ve read my “Spring Has Sprung” blog, many of this will sound very familiar.)

Sunlight first thing in the morning helps establish the circadian rhythm by signaling to our bodies that it is time to wake up. Even a few minutes can make a huge difference! Morning sunlight is not just a tip for babies, it is helpful for the whole family. Sunlight first thing in the morning helps set (and keep) sleep on somewhat of a schedule. 

This tip can actually be implemented right from the newborn stage, as babies are born with an undeveloped circadian rhythm. It doesn’t begin to develop until 8-12 weeks and can take up to 6 months of age to be fully established. Exposure to natural sunlight during the day (especially in the early morning hours or just before sunset) and darkness at night helps set their biological clock.

As I always remind parents, temperament largely determines how “regular” a person is, babies and toddlers included. There is only so much that sunlight can do for those really resistant to a set schedule, but all the more reason to set your little one up for success as best as you can. This is one of many ways you can help a really “irregular” baby (the ones who resist a schedule with all their might) have a bit more predictability. 

Capping naps

On a similar note as implementing a consistent wake-up time, capping naps can be really helpful in getting a bit more predictability in your days. Again, I know waking your peacefully sleeping baby or toddler from a nap instead of logging all the down time you can get (or napping yourself) is a rough one to swallow… but, if you are trying to shift bedtime earlier or trying to establish a bit more consistency to your days, capping naps to preserve your ideal bedtime can be really helpful.

Remember, naps are intended to take off sleep pressure. That’s it. Most babies don’t need several long, consolidated stretches of sleep during the day (although some higher sleep needs babies absolutely do.) This is why many babies are notorious cat nappers until they are on one or two naps a day. 

If you have a higher sleep needs baby you may not find capping naps helpful. But for many babies over three or four months, not letting a nap exceed two hours, and capping their final nap of the day at 15-30 minutes (depending on how the rest of the day went) can be really helpful when trying to bring bedtime earlier. 

Capping naps is also really helpful when you are gearing up for nap transitions (or dropping naps altogether in toddlerhood.) Instead of jumping right to dropping a nap I always encourage parents to play around with a short cat-nap at the end of the day (or capping a toddler nap at 30-60 minute midday if they are typically napping for more than 90 minutes.)

Create rhythms, routines and rituals throughout your day

Making your days as predictable as possible (again, with rhythms and routines, not being dictated by the clock) will help get you back in routine. If you’re going back to work, or have older children starting preschool this will naturally happen. You’ll have the start to your day getting ready to go out the door routine. Then a series of afternoon rituals and routines at pick up. Then finally your bedtime routine. 

If you aren’t going back to school or back to work this fall, putting in some rhythms and routines in your day gives your day so much more structure (especially for us schedule oriented mamas.) Striking a balance between having a routine but also having free time is a delicate dance, and individual for each family. But having a series of activities you do in a similar order each day gives you and your baby so much predictability, which can help your little one sleep better. Babies thrive with predictability, so even having a routine for your morning, mealtimes, naptimes and bedtimes (and a regular part of your day set aside for time outdoors) can go a long way in getting your days back on track. 

Calming and Connecting Bedtime Routines

And of course, when working on getting back into routine and making shifts to your little one’s sleep, make sure your bedtime routines are on point. There is no such things as an “ideal bedtime routine” as far as certain activities *needing* to take place. However, I always recommend that all bedtime routines help your child unwind and focus on connection. 

Activities to “unwind” look different for every child based on their temperament. For some babies and toddlers, they really need lots of time to find their calm, with dim lights, lots of snuggles and activities like a bath and books. Others need that final burst of energy to wrap up their day so they can actually fall asleep. For them it might look like rough and tumble play, crashing into pillows or a silly dance party right before bedtime. Other children are sensory seekers, and might need some swinging or bouncing at bedtime, or want to feel a soft blanket or stuffed animal in their hands while they calm. What “calming” looks like really depends on the child.

Connection & Bedtime

And connection needs to be at the forefront of every bedtime routine. Sleep represents major separation for little ones. Their connection cup needs to be overflowing to feel safe enough to fall asleep. As I often remind parents I am working with, children who appear to be “fighting sleep” are often fighting separation. It is a lot of ask of a child to be apart from us for 10-12 hours overnight. Making sure you are ending their day with lots of connection, whatever that looks like for your family, will make bedtimes a breeze. 

And while this is important everyday, even when you’re not getting back into routine, whenever we are shifting around with bedtimes adding in extra connection will help them get through the adjustment phase. No matter the sleep challenge, you can never go wrong by leading with extra connection out of the gate. 

So there you have it: my five tips for getting back into routine this fall! Some of these tips won’t apply to every family (like a consistent wake-up time for shift-workers, or capping naps for high sleep needs babies) and that is ok! Take the pieces of this blog that work and resonate with you, follow your intuition and make the changes that feel right for you. And of course, there are lots of personalized ways I can help you get back into routine. I absolutely love helping parents create a rhythm to their day, find their baby or toddler’s unique sleep totals, and shift bedtimes (earlier or later – depending on what the family needs.)

Last week marked the first week of spring, and am I ever ready to say goodbye to winter! I am ready for playing outside with O, slow mornings on our deck, farmers markets, longer walks (that don’t involve a million layers of clothes), to name a few. As I sat in the sunshine sipping coffee last Monday, the first day of spring, I was thinking about all the springtime routines I wanted to put in place. These routines bring me SO much joy, and I realized every single one of them can improve sleep. Which inspired this blog: Three Springtime Habits To Improve Sleep. 

And they all take place OUTDOORS!

There are so many benefits to spending time outdoors. When you spend time outside, your immune system, digestion and metabolism improve. There are health benefits to vitamin D exposure. Being outside improves your mood, and studies show that stress levels go down within minutes. Now that the warmer weather is on its way, it is the perfect time to add in more time outside! And it will naturally help you and your little one sleep better, too. 

Getting outside first thing in the morning

This is the habit I am most excited about bringing back to my life this spring. I love a slow start to my day, and I love getting outside first thing in the morning. 

This time last year, when I was in the thick of split nights with O, I started implementing time outside first thing in the morning. You can read all about our experience with split nights here. I needed to start my day doing something I loved after a rough night, so O and I would head out on our deck with a blanket and toys. She would play, and I would sit nearby while journaling, sipping coffee and soaking in the sun. It was the most magical way to start the day. 

We continued our starting our days this way as many mornings as possible until about December. It has been really hard to start our day outside over the winter. If you follow me on Instagram you have probably seen pictures of O and I bundled up in robes and tuques taking in a sunrise. A few times a week we have been able to head outside for five to ten minutes to start our day. Now that spring is here, I am so excited to bring this springtime habit back on a regular basis! 

Benefits of Sunlight First Thing In The Morning

Little did I know when I started this routine, there were so many benefits to starting our days outside. While I completed the Baby Led Sleep & Well-being Specialist Certification through Isla Grace Sleep, I was amazed by all the benefits I learned about.

Sunlight first thing in the morning helps establish the circadian rhythm, which is so important for creating healthy sleep habits. Morning sunlight is not just a tip for babies, it is helpful for the whole family. 

Babies are born with an undeveloped circadian rhythm. It doesn’t begin to develop until 8-12 weeks and can take up to 6 months of age to be fully established. Exposure to natural sunlight during the day (especially in the early morning hours or just before sunset) and darkness at night helps set their biological clock.

For older babies and toddlers, getting out into sunlight first thing in the morning is one of my top tips for working through sleep challenges such as early rising, false starts, split nights or bedtime battles. It is also super helpful when navigating nap transitions or getting sleep back on track any time sleep gets off course. And of course, as I discussed in the Rhythms and Routines blog linked below, having a predictable routine helps you and your little one thrive. 

Click here to hear Rhythms and Routines.

Babies and toddlers aren’t the only ones who benefit. For anyone at any age, sunlight first thing in the morning helps set (and keep) sleep on somewhat of a schedule. As I always remind parents, temperament largely determines how “regular” a person is, babies and toddlers included. There is only so much that sunlight can do for those really resistant to a set schedule, but all the more reason to set your little one up for success as best as you can. This is one of many ways you can help a really “irregular” baby (the ones who resist a schedule with all their might) have a bit more predictability. 

For adults, especially tired parents who are up multiple times a night, getting sunlight before blue light (screens) is extra important. When we’re up at odd hours to tend to our little ones our biological clocks get out of sync. Using natural light to our advantage is extremely helpful in keeping our circadian rhythm on track. When you wake, get out into the sunlight as soon as possible, and ideally before you look at any screen. I know this is hard, and I definitely could work on making this more of a priority in my life, but if you’re struggling to sleep at night try making a conscious effort to wait until you’ve been in the sunshine to pick up your phone. 

For more tips on how to improve your sleep in parenthood, check out this blog. 

Ok, great, but this isn’t realistic for our family

While this all sounds great, it likely is not realistic for everyone. If you already have a hectic morning getting out the door to work this might be an absolute no go. Or maybe you leave really early start to your day before the sun rises. In these cases I recommend getting out in the sunlight in the evening as close to sunset as possible. Research shows that sun exposure when the sun rises and sets is beneficial in setting the circadian rhythm. Of course, as the days get longer this will be tough for little ones who have an early bedtime. But whenever your schedule allows for this, sunlight exposure at sun set provides the same benefits as getting outside in the morning. 

Also, it doesn’t have to be for a long period of time. Even if you can squeeze in a few minutes (as I’ve had to do all winter)  it is better than none. Alternatively, if you can’t get outside in the morning, opening blinds and letting the sunshine into your home is also helpful. You can still reap benefits if you and your baby can sit or play in the sun inside for a few minutes. Even adding this in on weekends or just a few days a week can go a long way in improving sleep. 

All in all, this doesn’t have to be a big commitment. I promise you, finding a way to integrate this into your life, even in a small way this spring will benefit the entire family’s sleep.

Sensory-rich play

Now that spring is here, we are going to be able to include more sensory-rich outdoor play. I can’t wait to get out O’s water table, plant vegetables and flowers, and spend more time on her swing. She also finds it so much easier (and enjoyable) to run and play without her snowsuit, boots and mittens. And the few puddles she has found as the snow melts have brought her so much joy!

Spring is a wonderful time for sensory-rich play. And finding the right balance of stimulation and what type of sensory input your child craves can help them sleep better.

How much stimulation and the types of activities your child will enjoy is highly dependent on temperament. With highly sensitive little ones it takes a bit of experimenting and being really in tune with their needs to find the right balance of sensory-rich play. Some sensitive babies and toddlers are easily overstimulated, so being mindful of the amount of time spent engaging in this type of play is important. For them, certain activities may be bothersome, while their bodies may need other sensory input to feel calm. Watching carefully to see how your sensitive child responds to such play and following their lead will help you ensure their needs are met. When their sensory needs are met it sets their body up for calm in the evening (and at the very least, doesn’t have them trying to get those sensory needs met right at bedtime, leading to bedtime battles that are not fun for anyone.)

Similar to getting out first thing in the morning, play doesn’t need to be complicated. Setting up a blanket on the grass for a young baby to observe the world around them is plenty. From watching the clouds and  the trees blowing to the feeling of grass under the blanket to smelling flowers nearby, simply taking them outside will be a sensory experience. For older babies and toddlers, playing in the grass, picking up rocks, or playing with water are all easy and free things you can do with them outside.

Go for more walks

Lastly, I cannot wait to get out for more walks! Again, this is something I truly love, but is harder to do on a regular basis in the winter. We’ve been walking a few times a week, but as the weather warms up we plan to get out almost every day (we skip the super rainy days.)

Physical activity is helpful in getting a good night’s sleep. I know how tough it can be to get regular workouts in with a little one around, which is why walking (either with a stroller or carrier) is one of my top recommendations to moms. With a walk there is no need to find time alone to get some movement in. Plus, your child gets the benefit of more time outside. Some babies love a stroller or carrier nap, so this is a great way for mom to plan for a low stress nap and practice a bit of self-care. 

Not only can you bring your little one with you, it’s also low impact and will not further deplete you if you’re already exhausted. While I love a good, sweaty workout, I shy away from them during phases of frequent wake-ups as I know my body isn’t getting the rest it needs to recover. When moms are running on little sleep my recommendation is to put vigorous exercise on hold, and instead opt for gentler workouts. Movement is still so important after a rough night but it’s all about finding the movement that gives you energy and doesn’t steal the little bit you have left. 

Walks are also amazing for boosting your mood and lowering stress. Whenever a nap isn’t going as planned it is almost always a good idea to head out for a walk. Often the change of scenery, fresh air and hit of endorphins from the activity is the fix. It helps mom find her calm and puts her in the right mindset to attempt a nap at a later time (if baby didn’t happen to fall asleep on the walk, of course.)

A Personal Note On Spring Time Walks

On a personal not sleep related note, spring walks make me very nostalgic. This time two years ago I was in my third trimester and was walking nearly everyday. We also went for lots of spring walks when O was a newborn, and last year during my final months of maternity leave. I remember heading out for a walk last spring and tearing up because the sunlight looked exactly the way it did the night I walked while timing contractions. And getting chills on a walk last May when I smelled the same floral scent we smelled on a walk when O was only 2 weeks old. As a highly sensitive person, I feel things very deeply and spring walks bring back some of my fondest memories. 

I am so excited to implement these habits in my life this spring! I’ll be sharing them more on Instagram over the coming weeks. I hope this blog inspires you to try one or all three of them, and that you notice it helps you and your little one get more sleep. 

Signs of spring are slowly appearing, and I am SO ready for it! The days are getting longer, and I can’t help but smile every time I notice sunshine in the evening. And with the “spring ahead” time change approaching, those sunny evenings will get even longer! As lovely as the longer days are, you may wonder how the spring forward time change will impact your little one’s sleep. 

Those who’ve been reading along with my blog or following me on Instagram know that I like to keep baby sleep as simple, stress-free and as intuitive as possible. The same principles apply to navigating this time change. It doesn’t have to be complicated or stressful. I am not going to give you a step-by-step plan to follow. Instead, I’ll give you some questions to think about (because you know your little one and family best) and suggestions on how to approach making changes to their day if that’s something you want (or need) to do. I’ll also share some helpful tips to make this transition as smooth as possible. And, of course, a bit of insight into how I will navigate this transition with O. 

Things to Keep In Mind 

Before I dive into some options for helping your little one through this transition, let’s unpack a few things you’ll want to consider.

Temperament

Like all things sleep-related, how your little one responds to the spring forward time change is largely determined by their unique personality and temperament. As you read the options below, think about how your baby or toddler adapts to change; are they easygoing, and do changes to their day-to-day don’t seem to bother them? Are they highly sensitive and thrown off by the slightest change? Or are they somewhere in the middle?

You’ll also want to consider their rhythmicity (one of the nine temperament traits). Are they reasonably regular, meaning they eat, sleep and wake at the same time every day? Or are they the type that never naps at the same time for the same length and resist a schedule? A child who is more regular and has a “set schedule” will be more sensitive to the time change than a more flexible child. 

Note that throughout this blog, I use the term schedule very loosely. I don’t believe babies HAVE to be on a schedule to thrive. Some babies are very regular by nature and almost put themselves on a schedule. Also, some families need a schedule to accommodate work and other activities (more on this below). It is totally fine in these circumstances to have a schedule. I simply want to address this so that no mom reads this and thinks she’s doing something wrong by not having her baby or toddler follow a schedule. Some babies resist them, and some families don’t need them. For more thoughts on schedules and what I generally recommend to families, click here to read my blog on rhythms and routines. 

Age

The age of your child matters too. Young babies under nine months, especially newborns, are more likely to roll with the time change as they are usually not sleeping and waking at the same time every day (unless, again, your little one has the regular rhythmicity temperament trait discussed above.) Older babies on one or two naps and toddlers tend to wake and sleep more regularly than young babies. They may find it more challenging to adapt to the spring forward time change. 

Your Family’s Lifestyle

How flexible your day-to-day is will also largely determine your approach for navigating the spring forward time change. Families who have older children with set school drop-off or activity times may not be able to let their little ones “sleep in” when the time changes. And little ones in daycare or who need to be up by a specific time for their parents to get to work will want their baby to adapt to the new time. On the other hand, families with a stay-at-home parent or who have a flexible work schedule can really choose any of the options discussed below. 

Spring Forward Option 1 – Do Nothing

You read that right… you actually don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. If it works for your family to have your little one wake up and go to bed “later,” then by all means, keep things simple for yourself and choose to do nothing. 

For example, if your little one currently wakes up around 6:00 am and goes to bed around 7:30 pm, you can shift everything by an hour and have them wake up around 7:00 am and go to bed around 8:30 pm. 

For parents of little ones who like to wake up early, the spring forward time change is an excellent opportunity to get them waking at a more reasonable hour. That 5:00 am wake up is suddenly 6:00 am, which to many parents feels heavenly. 

Some little ones have a strong biological clock and will revert to their original wake-up time. If you’re hoping to take advantage of the time change to shift away from early mornings (or want the new wake-up and bedtime to stick), then it’s essential to move their entire day by an hour. All meal and nap times need to be bumped, not just wake-up and bedtime. Reminder, if your family doesn’t have set nap or meal times, you do not need to worry about this – this tip is for babies and toddlers with a highly regular temperament. 

This option really can be used by anyone, not just those who have early risers. It’s great for parents who would prefer a later bedtime or have a lot of flexibility with their schedule. This is also my first choice for most babies under nine months, especially newborns. If your baby is still young enough that they don’t really have a set schedule, then it often makes the most sense not to change anything. Why add extra stress and change if it’s not necessary, right?

Spring Forward Option 2 – Wake baby or toddler at the new time 

Another simple, stress-free, minimal planning option. Simply wake them at the new time in the morning that the time changes, then follow their usual routine throughout the day. For example, if your baby was waking around 7 am before the time change, you would wake them around 7 am the new time. 

For little ones who struggle to get a second nap in without pushing bedtime too late, this is a great option to have them wake earlier. I also love this for parents of really easy-going babies or toddlers who need a specific wake-up time for daycare. It’s another excellent option for young babies who don’t wake up and nap at the same time every day. 

Spring Forward Option 3 – Gradual changes over the next week 

Lastly, you can make gradual changes to their schedule over the course of a week. Every day or two, you would move their activities (wake-up time, nap time, meals, bedtime) by 15 mins until their day has shifted to the new time. 

This isn’t my favourite strategy for several reasons, but there are absolutely situations where this approach is best. If you have a sensitive little one who struggles with change and you need to keep bedtime or wake up at the same time, this is the approach I recommend. 

The reason this isn’t my favourite is that it puts a lot of stress and focus on a “schedule” and adds to the parents’ mental load tremendously for a week. If you are a parent who tends to obsess about sleep (or used to), constant schedule adjustments will only add to your anxiety. This option is also challenging for families who have little control over the timing of their day. For example, it will be hard to make these incremental changes if your little one is in daycare unless they’re also gradually shifting activities over the week. 

If you feel this is the best option for your family, keep it as stress-free as possible. Set realistic expectations for yourself that it may not be as simple as moving things by 15 minutes each day. Give yourself lots of grace if things don’t go according to plan. There are bound to be days where you forget to move a meal or a nap time or that bedtime runs later than planned. Trust that even if sleep ends up being “off” for a few nights (or more) that things will adjust to the new time soon enough. 

My plan with O

As you may have guessed, I choose option 1 – do nothing. This is how we have approached time changes in the past, and it works for us. I like this approach mostly because I prefer a later bedtime for O during the summer months. It gives my husband and I so much more freedom to do the things we enjoy as a family and not stress about being home for bedtime. We spend our summer weekends boating, camping, and spending time with family and friends. On weeknights, we love to have supper outside on our deck, go for evening walks, and tend to our garden. And we love when O is a part of these activities. The extra hour takes the stress out of bedtime for us, and we feel less rushed. 

Currently, O goes to bed around 8:30 pm and is up between 6:30-7 am. A few nights a week, her bedtime creeps closer to 9:00 pm, so my plan this week is to try not to let that happen (but I am not going to worry about it if it does.) Her new bedtime will be around 9:30 pm, and I will wake her by 8 am if she isn’t awake before then. I will not be surprised if O naturally shifts her bedtime a bit earlier, but we will try to keep her bedtime around 9/9:30 pm if possible. And if at any point, this later bedtime no longer works for us, we can always make a gradual (or more abrupt) change back to her original bedtime. 

I realize we are very fortunate that we can choose to have this schedule. Not all families could approach the spring forward time change this way. I hope that if you want or need to make a shift this post helps you do it as stress-free as possible! Try not to overthink it, and remember only you know what works best for your little one. 

One of my favourite things to remind families and myself is that sleep is not linear. Before I became a mom, I naively thought that the newborn phase and the four-month sleep progression (more well-known as sleep regression, but I’ll get into all that below)was the most challenging part of nighttime parenting. I was soon humbled when my daughter, who was sleeping 6 hours at night, hit the 8-10 month sleep progression, which you can read about here. I had no idea there were sleep progressions beyond four months.

So what do parents do when all of a sudden, their baby’s sleep changes? It’s hard to know how to navigate these challenging times. In this blog, I’ll share exactly what is a sleep progression, when they generally occur, and some practical tips to help get you through.

What is a sleep progression?

A sleep progression, or sleep regression as it is more commonly known, is a period of disrupted sleep that coincides with a burst in development. And it is that burst in growth that I love the term sleep progression. While sleep can get worse, and it certainly can feel like you’re “going backwards” during these times, it is caused by your baby’s development moving forward. Even this simple shift from using the term sleep progression instead of sleep regression helps me during those sleepless weeks. By intentionally focusing on the fact that my daughter was learning and working on new skills, I was able to power through some of the frustrating and exhausting moments. 

Parents tend to know within a few days when a sleep progression has hit. Usually, a baby’s sleep will be off suddenly, either during naps, nights or both. They also may want to nurse around the clock. They may also be extra fussy and want to be held all the time. Usually, there is a significant milestone or skill that a baby is working on around this time. Sleep might be off for a few weeks before things get better. Sleep progressions are very hard, and parents can become quite exhausted around these times. 

It is common for sleep progressions to occur at 4, 6, 8-10, 12, 18 and 24 months. So very often in the first year and at least up until age two.

Aside from the four-month sleep progression, there isn’t any research that documents that sleep changes at the other progressions. But most parents (myself included) will tell you, based on their own experience, that these do occur. 

Four-month sleep progression

The four-month sleep progression is the most common one talked about. When my daughter was born, I had many warnings that sleep would be rough around that time. But as I mentioned in the intro, no one warned me about the others. One of the reasons is that this sleep regression is particularly tough.

There are a few reasons is it is so tough. First, baby’s sleep cycles permanently change. Before this change, baby’s only have two stages of sleep: light sleep and deep sleep. When they go through this progression, their sleep cycles become more like adults, with four stages of sleep: stages 1-3 and REM sleep. 

This change means that baby spends more time in the lighter stages of sleep. They often wake up easier and can become harder to transfer to the crib (or other safe sleep space) once this change occurs.

If nursing, mom’s milk supply may also dip around this time. Before 6-8 weeks, mom’s milk supply is regulated by her hormones. After 6-8 weeks, it is regulated by supply and demand. If baby hasn’t emptied regularly while nursing, the supply may dip, and they may wake more frequently at night to nurse. 

Babies are also more easily distracted around this age, and many have begun working on rolling. They may want to practice rolling all day and night, causing naps to be short or more wake-ups at night. And sometimes, naps and nights are both really off.

Other Sleep Progressions

There isn’t scientific evidence that sleep changes at other times during infancy and toddlerhood the way it changes at four months. But it is very common to also experience sleep progressions at six months, sometime between 8-10 months, and also at 12, 18 and 24 months.

These sleep disturbances typically happen around periods of development. Working on physical milestones tends to cause babies to be extra wakeful. When a baby is learning to sit, scoot, crawl, stand, walk, jump or run, they often want to practice day or night. Bursts in mental and language development and learning to talk are typical times for sleep to be off as well. 

Separation anxiety is another common sleep disturbance and can be part of why babies experience a sleep progression around 8-10, 12 and/or 18 months. Sleep is a very vulnerable state and represents major separation for little ones. If you think separation anxiety might be why your baby struggles to sleep during the day, practice leaving for short periods and returning to them. Games like peek-a-boo can also help babies work through separation anxiety. These help baby learn that you are always coming back when you leave, which may help with separation anxiety at night.

How to survive sleep progressions

You’re probably exhausted just reading all that I’ve described about sleep progressions above, even if you’re not in the middle of one right now. If you’ve yet to hit one, or you didn’t realize there were so many, here are some helpful tips to help get you through.

Make self-care a priority

It is so important to remember to take care of yourself in all seasons of motherhood. It is especially when you’re little one is going through a sleep progression. Remember, self-care is not selfish. You do it for the ones you love as well. You can’t give from an empty cup, and you’re more likely to give your baby the support and connection they need during a sleep progression when you’re recharged. 

As discussed in this blog post, self-care doesn’t have to be a grand event. Of course, if you have a partner or village, lean on them and take time for yourself. But there are also lots of ways to practice self-care with your baby by your side. Whether you bundle your baby up and head out for a walk, nap when the baby naps, or fuel your body with nourishing foods, find something that energizes you and brings you joy every day. 

Lean on your village

Sleep progressions aren’t the time to try and tackle everything yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to pitch in around the house or to take on some of the soothing at night. You can also ask close friends and family to drop off a meal, pick up your groceries or hold the baby so you can shower. Even during the later regressions (especially if you’re back to work), it’s ok to ask for help. No one was meant to do everything alone. 

Give baby lots of time to work on new skills

Whether they are learning to roll, sit, stand, scoot, crawl, walk or talk, they want to practice until it’s mastered. Day or night. Giving them more time to practice during the day may help them sleep at night. Or, at the very least, more practice will help them master the skill (and get you all sleeping) sooner. 

Use a carrier if your little one wants to be held all the time

Some little ones want to be help all the time during sleep progressions. A good carrier can be so helpful if you have a baby or toddler who wants to be held a lot during these sleepy days. I love the Beluga Buckle carrier (linked here and not sponsored) for babies over 15lbs, and still use it with O (who is almost 21 months at the time I published this blog.) 

Focus on the positive perspective

As hard as these progressions are, remember they are temporary. Usually, things level out within a few weeks, and sleep improves. It can be so tough in the moment, but reminding yourself nothing lasts forever can go a long way.

Also, focusing on all the amazing new things your little one is doing can help so much. Reminding yourself that the sleep progression is happening because your baby is healthy, developing and thriving can make those tired moments feel worth it. The hard, sleepless weeks will pass. And you will wake up one morning and it will seem as if they grew up a little bit more overnight. It’s one of the best ways to find joy amidst the exhaustion.

Naps are one of the most common concerns I hear from new moms. I also was stressed about naps during my first year of motherhood. Knowing what I know now, I see how my stress was caused by “nap rules” that are actually nothing but a bunch of nap myths. 

In this blog, I bust a few of the most common nap myths that stress moms out about their little one’s sleep. Of course, like everything I talk about here, if something works for your family, you don’t have to change it. For example, just because it’s a myth that a baby needs to follow the EASY routine, it doesn’t mean you need to stop the EASY routine if it’s working for you. (If you don’t know what this is, consider yourself lucky, but I explain it in detail below.) Some things work for some babies, and that’s ok! Where these nap rules become problematic is when moms feel like they HAVE to do something that goes against their intuition or that doesn’t work for their baby. 

This blog intends to give peace of mind to the mom who is doing “all the things,” and none of it is working. It’s to show her that it’s ok (and quite normal) if her baby doesn’t nap the way the books or sleep trainers claim they should. 

Nap Myth #1: EASY routine 

Let’s start with the EASY routine because it’s the nap myth that bothers me the most. The EASY routine was something I followed with my daughter for a brief period of time when she was around three months old (you can read all about that here.) 

The EASY routine is an acronym for following a schedule for feeding and sleep. It stands for Eat, Awake/Activity, Sleep, You time. The idea is that you feed your baby when they wake up, then they have some awake or playtime. After playtime, you put them to sleep without a feeding (or better yet, they put themselves to sleep drowsy but awake – another “sleep rule” that doesn’t work for every baby). While they sleep, the mom gets time to herself. Sounds easy, right? Spoiler, it’s not easy for every baby. 

One of the biggest issues I have with the EASY routine is that it puts the breastfeeding relationship at risk. Placing the baby on any feeding schedule is not recommended during the first year, especially not during the early months when the mom’s milk supply is still being established. It is essential to feed on demand whenever baby signals that they are hungry. 

And they will likely signal more than every three hours… and this is ok! It is perfectly natural for babies to feed often during the first few months of life. They’ll likely do some variation of eat, awake, eat, sleep or eat, sleep, awake, sleep because of how fast breast milk metabolizes. And each day could look a bit different (hello, frequent growth spurts!) 

But when moms follow the EASY routine, they only feed their baby upon waking. When the baby cries, and it’s “not time to eat yet,” moms may feel guilty for “giving in” and letting the baby nurse (I felt this guilt HARD with O). If they don’t offer a feed and find other ways of soothing, it is a recipe for a plummeting milk supply. And sometimes that leads to mom not nursing as long as she had hoped. 

It also can lead to an excruciating nap time experience for both mom and baby. Let me ask you this: can you fall asleep when you’re hungry? Probably not. Your baby is no different. So imagine how hard it would be to support a baby to sleep if you didn’t offer a feed before the nap? I can tell you, as someone who did this for a few weeks, it’s awful. 

Parents end up rocking and bouncing their baby for a long time. This is often countered with “try drowsy but awake.” And often, this leads to a distraught baby since the reason they’re crying in the first place is that they are hungry. 

So what do I follow if EASY doesn’t work?

All in all, the reason I don’t like this routine (or any of the nap myths in this blog) is it strips mom’s intuition away from her. Instead of following her baby’s cues and learning their unique cries, mom is following a schedule that is not biologically normal for the baby. 

Instead, I encourage parents to tune into what their baby needs. If you know your little one and you can tell they’re hungry, but you just fed them, go ahead and feed them! I promise you can’t spoil a baby. 

Nursing them to sleep is biologically normal. It is not an accident that your baby starts to drift off when nursing… Breastfeeding releases sleep-inducing hormones. It also helps babies establish their circadian rhythm, which doesn’t fully develop until somewhere between 2-6 months of age. 

Nursing to sleep is biologically normal for moms too. When we nurse our babies, our hormones shift to help us feel relaxed and rested. It’s why it’s so intuitive for many of us to feed our babies to sleep.

Nap Myth #2: Naps on the go aren’t as restorative

I have seen claims on the internet that naps on the go aren’t as restorative. I’ve yet to see anything so bold as to claim all naps should take place in the crib; however, I still find the underlying message is that parents should only use naps on the go when necessary. 

And this really isn’t backed up by anything… 

Throughout the day, babies and toddlers build up sleep pressure in their brains. The purpose of a nap is to relieve the built-up pressure… and car naps, stroller naps and carrier naps all get the job done! 

Of course, baby might wake up earlier than usual when they nap on the go, but there is nothing wrong with this. This leads us to nap myth number three….

Nap Myth #3: Short naps are bad for a baby’s development

This nap myth could not be further from the truth! And what bothers me the most is it uses fear tactics to prey on new parents. A parent who is led to believe that short naps (less than one sleep cycle, so usually 30-40 mins) are going to harm their baby’s development is naturally going to feel alarmed any time their baby takes a short nap. 

In reality, short naps are normal, especially for babies under six months. 

Babies indeed need restorative sleep due to their highly active brains. But this doesn’t mean that every nap needs to be long to be healthy. And short naps are not doing any harm to your little one. 

The most important thing to consider is if your baby wakes up happy, calm and ready to learn. If they are, then the short nap is just fine for them. Short naps are plenty of rest for most young babies, especially on three or more daily naps. 

If they continuously seem overtired and grumpy after short naps, you may need to experiment with encouraging longer naps. If your little one truly needs a longer nap, try using motion or contact naps for one or two naps a day. Babies often nap longer when they are in contact with their caregiver than in their cribs. 

You can also try rescuing the nap when you rock, cuddle or feed baby back to sleep if they wake up from a short nap and still seem tired. 

But rest assured; your baby is most likely getting all the sleep they need. Short naps and very fragmented sleep at night are entirely normal. It is very rare for your baby to be genuinely sleep deprived, and it will not harm them not to sleep long, consolidated stretches.

My Approach to Naps

These are just a few of the nap myths I see causing parents stress. There are so many nap myths out there (let me know in the comments if you want me to do a part two), and most of them add pressure on parents. They cause parents to feel guilty over things that are normal. And most importantly (in my opinion at least), most of them cause parents to do something against their intuition. 

When I work with families, I help them tap into their instincts: no nap myths, no rules. Because sleep is not one-size-fits-all. Every baby has a unique temperament and every family has unique preferences. We work together to find the naptime strategies that work for you, and learn to tune out everything else. 

One of the biggest misconceptions in the “sleep training world” is that a baby needs to follow a schedule for sleep and feeding. I am sure you have seen many posts on social media promoting ideal schedules for a six-month-old (or any other age), and these put so much pressure on parents. Aside from the fact that they cause parents a lot of unnecessary stress, I’m not too fond of these generic schedules because they do not account for each baby’s unique sleep needs, and they don’t encourage parents to follow their intuition or learn their baby’s cues. No baby or family is alike, especially when it comes to sleep, so no schedule is perfect for everyone. 

I’m sure some of you are reading this intro and feeling a bit disheartened. For many, before baby arrived, our lives revolved around schedules and predictability. You probably clicked on this post because you are searching for some rhythm to your new life with your baby. But fear not. While I’m not going to share a magic schedule based on “perfectly timed wake windows” for your little one’s exact age, what I am going to share will help you and your baby get more predictability in your lives by building some rhythms and routines into your day. 

Rhythms – what are they, and how are they different (and better) than a schedule 

Let’s start with rhythms; the idea behind having a rhythm to your day is that there is a natural follow to your daily activities and that they generally occur in the same order from day to day. This probably sounds like a schedule to some of you, but the main difference is that things aren’t tied to a particular time. For example, maybe your morning starts with nursing (or giving your baby a bottle), followed by a walk, breakfast, and play time until the baby’s first nap. This would be considered a rhythm. Notice nothing is said about when these activities need to happen or how long each is because the reality is every day these activities will look different. Maybe one day you take a long walk, the next a short walk, so playtime is short (or longer) until baby is tired. Perhaps there’s a day playtime is skipped altogether because your baby flashes sleep cues early. Or is going through a growth spurt, so extra feedings are thrown into the morning. I could go on and on about the different variations, but I’m sure you get the picture. Each day looks slightly different, but there is a general sequence of activities.

Where this becomes better than a schedule, in my opinion, is that the parents and baby have some predictability in their day but are not stressed if naps and feedings are not happening at a certain time. Instead of thinking “baby’s nap is at 10 am” and then worrying if baby won’t nap at this set time, a rhythms mindset allows parents to think, “baby’s nap is after (insert whatever activity works for your family) and I’ll watch for sleepy cues around that time.” 

Also, this doesn’t mean you HAVE to do the exact same sequence every day. It’s expected that weekends, rainy days, holidays etc. look different and that there may even be weekly activities such as grocery shopping or taking your older child to preschool that disrupts your rhythms often. These are perfectly ok! I cannot stress enough that the whole idea of a rhythm is to allow SOME predictability in your life (and baby’s life) but that it is fluid enough to allow lots of flexibility.

If you’ve read this far, you’re at the very least curious to learn more, but I want first to acknowledge that ditching the clock and adopting a natural flow to your day can be a lot harder than it sounds. It can be especially tough if you’re anxious around your littlest one’s sleep (it’s ok, I’ve been there too) or have taken a sleep course or follow sleep training social media accounts, especially those sneaky ones that don’t really look like sleep trainers. I remember worrying big time that my daughter hadn’t fallen into a schedule by six months (I share that experience in my post here), but schedules never worked for her. I know this fear was from seeing things online that implied she should have a schedule by that age. Even by 9-10 months, when her nap times became a bit more predictable, there was still variability in exactly what time she would go down each day. This is perfectly normal and mainly due to her temperament. 

Some babies are very predictable with their feeding and sleeping, and I have friends who know without a doubt that their baby will nap at a specific time. If this is your little one, and they seem to be doing well with a schedule (some babies will pretty much put themselves on a schedule), there is no need to change anything. But many babies do much better with a rhythm to their day instead.

All About Routines

The concept of a routine, especially a nap time or bedtime routine, is probably more familiar to you. A routine is a series of activities done in the same order to cue that a specific event is coming. They are different from a rhythm in that they are more specific and are generally short (maybe 5-10 mins for nap time, 20-40 mins for bedtime), whereas a rhythm is over a longer period of time, such as a morning or even an entire day. 

Routines do not have to be complicated, nor is there a perfect routine for every baby. The idea is that you find a series of activities you and your baby enjoy to signal that it is time for sleep. When it comes to bedtime, making sure the routine is enjoyable and centred around connecting with your baby is so important. Sleep is a very vulnerable state for babies and long stretches at night represent major separation (even if we room share or bedshare), so connection is essential at this time. And it is much easier to connect with your little one if you’re doing activities you enjoy. For example, if you love bathtime, great, it can be part of the bedtime routine, but if it’s an activity that you don’t like to do, there is no pressure to include it (or for your partner to do this part of it’s something they enjoy and it helps your baby unwind). There is no right or wrong routine, just one that is right for your family. It may take some playing around with different activities to find the one that works for you, and it may change over time. But once you find what works for you and you’ve started incorporating it regularly, it will signal to your baby that sleep is coming and make the transition from active time to rest time so much easier. Remember, however, no routine no matter how perfect will put a baby who isn’t tired to sleep, so be sure to be in tune with their unique sleepy cues (more on this coming soon).

To give you an example, I’ll share our daughter’s routine. O loves bathtime, so my husband or I bathe her almost every night before bed as the start of her routine. She loves to kick, splash and play, which for some babies might be too stimulating, but getting out that last bit of energy while winding down in the warm water works for O. After her bath, we put a nighttime diaper on her (these diapers from The Honest Company are our favourite), followed by pyjamas and her sleep sack (we love this Woolino sleep sack.) Next, we brush her hair and then brush her teeth. O loves to close her curtains, and I always say “goodnight world” as age does this. Then we read her a story or two (she also loves to pick out which books we read). After her stories, my husband and I each kiss her good night, and I take her to our bed to nurse her to sleep. If you’ve been reading along O’s sleep journey (you can read our first sleep journey post here) you probably already know how much I love this final nurse to sleep. I sing to her while rocking her, and it really is my favourite way to end the day. I want to remind you that there is no perfect bedtime routine, just the perfect one for your baby. This is what works for our family, and I encourage you to find what works for yours. For some, it may look similar to ours; for others, it may look wildly different, and both are perfectly ok. 

I hope that after reading this post, you feel more at ease about how you spend your days with your baby and that following rhythms and routines provides the structure to your days you are craving. But more importantly, I hope this post gives you permission to let go of finding the perfect schedule and allows you the freedom to go with the flow throughout your day. 

Contact naps are seriously one of my favourite things about motherhood! I spent years dreaming of cozy baby snuggles, and once O arrived, I wanted to soak up as many of them as possible. If you read my first post, you know contact naps were part of our routine during our newborn days. But contact naps didn’t stop there – in fact, O still contact naps a few times a week at 16 months old because neither of us is ready to give it up. 

As I share more of O’s sleep journey, you’ll see that we’ve had seasons where O exclusively contact napped and seasons where she would have more independent sleep in her routine. Even during phases of “more independent sleep,” she would have at least one contact nap a day until I returned to work when O was 14 months old. They work for us, and we love them, so there is no reason to cut them out. 

In this post, I will share why I LOVE contact naps. I know not everyone loves them, and that’s ok. My hope with this post is to help make contact naps something you enjoy (or tolerate) if they aren’t your jam but your baby is in a season where they need them. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, help you enjoy those snuggles guilt free if you are feeling pressure to stop and normalize mother and baby’s desire to be close to each other. 

1. Bonding with O

One reason I love contact naps is that it is my favourite way to bond with O. During the newborn days, O napped on me (or my husband) almost exclusively. In those very early weeks, we spent as much time skin-to-skin as we possibly could. I had an overwhelming desire to be in contact with her. These are some of my fondest memories from the newborn days: O on my chest, skin-to-skin, feeling her warmth and breathing in her scent (is there anything in the world that smells better than a newborn baby?) 

As O got older, we’ve had other seasons where we had lots of contact naps: during illnesses, teething, and when O fractured her ankle at 11.5 months old (stay tuned -I’ll share more about this as I continue O’s sleep journey series), not to mention developmental progressions (often referred to as sleep regressions) that notoriously impact sleep. During these challenging times, I loved being her comfort and her safe space. I love that simply being there, holding her, can help her get the rest she needs. I am also the first to admit these times are exhausting as a parent, and it’s perfectly natural to crave a break (if this resonates, scroll down to my third reason for loving contact naps). But I’ve noticed that once we’re on the other side of these difficult phases, O and I come out of them feeling so connected, and I’m sure all our cuddle sessions have a lot to do with that. 

2. Permission to rest

As someone who sometimes struggles to slow down, one of the main reasons I love contact naps is it gives me permission to rest. And rest is so essential during the postpartum period. When O naps independently (or in someone else’s arms), I always feel the need to be doing something. But when she is lying on my chest, I have no option but to rest. To sit and just be or do something for me.  It took some getting used to, and there were days when I felt unproductive. But I would remind myself, “this is important,” and that too soon, the day would come when she wouldn’t sleep wrapped in my arms. 

Once I surrendered to contact naps, I began to crave these restful moments during my day. I was never a fan of the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice simply because naps don’t work wonders for me unless we’ve had a rough night. I often wake up feeling worse off and groggy. Of course, I sometimes did sleep when O slept (and still do from time to time), but building rest into my day during the early months did so much more for my well-being than a nap. And what better way to rest and refill your cup than cuddling a sleeping baby? This leads me to my third reason for loving contact naps…

3. “Me time”

While giving myself permission to rest, contact naps also give me time to do something I enjoy. Yes, I am limited to an extent in what I can do, but I always have a plan to do something for me while O naps on me. It’s my time to read a book, catch up on reality TV, or listen to a podcast. Sometimes I journal, listen to a meditation, or enjoy sipping tea or coffee and staring at O while she sleeps. Lately, I’ve been using O’s contact naps to write my blog posts, study for my sleep certification, or work on building my website. There have also been many times when I will get her down for a nap in a wrap or carrier. This gives me the freedom to go for a walk, take the time to do a face mask, do my make up or whatever other self-care I need that day. 

I always make sure I have a few things nearby that I enjoy so I don’t get stuck mindlessly scrolling during her nap (this has happened more times than I can count, and I never walk away from these naps feeling rejuvenated or like I got the “break” I needed.) This took a little while to get down pat, but I try to remember to grab my headphones, books, phone water, and a coffee/tea or snack when I know I’m settling in for a long nap.

4. Longer nap for O

O always naps longer when she is on me than when she sleeps independently. I can pretty much count on her sleeping 1-2 hours if she is having a contact nap. While in no way am I suggesting that babies NEED these long naps (lots of babies do just fine on cat naps, especially during the early days), some babies need a bit of a longer nap to feel rested. ***This is one of those pieces where I will ask you to use your intuition; if your baby thrives on cat naps, great – no need to change anything! If your baby needs more than one long nap a day, this is also fine. The vital thing to take away from this is you know your baby, and if they seem to be needing a long nap but it isn’t happening in the crib, a contact nap may be your answer. 

O has always done best with one long nap a day, with some shorter naps in the mix. And now that she is on only one nap a day, for the most part, we want to be sure it’s a long one if we can (I’ll share more about this on the future when I talk about nap transitions). She is just not herself if she has only cat naps. Contact naps help ensure she gets the rest she needs. Be cautious of baby getting too many long naps, though … We learned the hard way to cap O’s long nap of the day around 2 hours and to keep tabs on her total daytime sleep. We went through a phase of false starts and split nights when she was around 7-9 months from sleeping too many hours during the day (I will get into all the details on this in a post coming soon). 

5. More freedom (because O will nap pretty much anywhere)

Last but not least (actually probably my favourite reason for contact naps) is O will nap pretty much anywhere, which gives our family so much freedom to do the activities we enjoy. There are A LOT of reasons for this (O’s temperament, her ability to sleep in light etc.), but the fact that my body is one of her strongest sleep associations has a lot to do with this. Moms are often told that it is a bad thing to nurse or rock their babies to sleep, but I beg to differ. If it works for the mom, there is no harm being done. And it can help her get out and about more.

Since O will happily nap in my arms (it is her favourite place to sleep, I am sure), we’ve been able to do so many things that we could never do if O needed to nap in a crib. O has slept in a carrier during hikes, snowshoeing or camping. We’ve used our wrap and carriers for naps while visiting with friends. On holidays they are a lifesaver, so we aren’t missing out on fun with our families. She has napped in my arms on our boat or while sitting on the beach (in the shade, of course). My husband and I often say we are so lucky that she naps on me willingly because it allows us to take her out and do the things we want to do instead of being stuck at home during nap times. 

Of course, we spend most of her naps at home because we’re not on the go seven days a week, but it is nice to know if we want to go out and do something on the weekend, O will likely have no issues going to sleep when needed. We simply implement what we can from her nap time routine while on the go. Because most of her sleep associations are tied to me (nursing, singing, rocking/swaying, bum patting), she will usually fall asleep in different environments fairly easily. There have been times when this backfires, and she won’t nap. And there was a day that would stress me out and send me mad, but once we learned to go with the flow and focus on what we could control, we were able to enjoy these naps on the go and make so many beautiful memories with O.