The holidays are here! Which for some families means traveling! If you are traveling for the holidays with a baby for the first time, naturally travel and sleep is on your mind…
There is absolutely lots to think about that can be anxiety provoking: how will they nap? Will they even nap (or sleep overnight)? Will they get too overtired or overstimulated? Can I ensure we will have a safe sleep arrangement wherever we go? How do we navigate crossing time-zones? Will they sleep on the flight? All the unknown is so much to process it is perfectly natural to feel some stress.
Traveling with little ones in general is a lot. There are lots of things to pack, feeding considerations (especially bottle-fed babes), and of course, sleep arrangements to plan. I know from chatting with many of you this year that figuring out your travel and sleep plans is stressful, so I decided to write this blog post to hopefully ease many of your concerns as you travel this holiday season!
My hope is that after reading this blog post you have lots of strategies you can implement while traveling to help you feel at ease. As I always say when it comes to baby sleep: focus on what you can control, and let go of the rest. There is so much we can’t control when it comes to travel and sleep but there are absolutely things we can do to set our babies (and ourselves) up for success. In this post, I’ll share my top tips for how to set-up a safe sleep space in a variety of scenarios, managing naps while traveling, crossing time zones and jet lag. And lastly, we’ll chat about getting in the right mindset for your trip so you can make the MOST memories possible while away with your little one.
AND for the first time ever, some mamas that I have supported this year have contributed some travel and sleep advice for you! I reached out to three Intuitive Baby Sleep mamas who have done some long distance travel this year with their little ones. Their quotes are pure GOLD and will hopefully put many of your concerns at ease! Big thanks to Sammy (mama to E), Oriana (mama to P) and S (mama to W) for sharing their experience for this blog.
Safe sleep
First things first, let’s chat setting up a safe sleep environment at your destination, as this can take some planning in advance. For safety, it is recommended that you use the similar sleeping arrangement as you do at home. (source: Safe Infant Sleep, Professor James McKenna) If you bedshare, it is not recommended to put the infant on a separate sleeping surface, such as a pack-and-play, bassinet or crib, unless bedsharing cannot be done safely in this new environment. Similarly, if you do not routinely bedshare at home, it is not recommended to do so while traveling. If your baby sleeps in a crib or bassinet at home, then you will want to ensure your baby sleeps on their own surface when away. Of course, many parents do a mix of bedsharing and crib/independent sleep at home. If this is you, then you absolutely can plan to do a mix of both while away.
How to bedshare while away
Bedsharing while away can be tricky to plan for in advance, but not totally impossible. Ensuring you are following all safe sleep guidelines (linked here) can be challenging as there will be things outside of your control. Mattress firmness is a big one. If you are staying with family or friends you can have them test the mattress firmness in advance so you know whether the mattress is safe. Cosleepy has a free mattress firmness test linked below. All you need is a ruler, paperback books and two full one-litre cartons of milk or juice to test the firmness. Ask if the mattress can be placed directly on the floor. If not, consider using a mesh bed rail while bedsharing, just be sure to pack the gaps (again,@cosleepy is your girl for resources on packing gaps.) Be sure the sheet is tight fitting, and all other risk factors can easily be mitigated. If you plan to consume alcohol, smoke, take sleeping pills to help with jet lag or any substance that impairs your ability to respond to your baby while on vacation, it is not safe to bedshare with your baby. Be sure to plan for separate surface cosleeping, and perhaps practice in advance of your trip if you are currently bedsharing exclusively.
Follow the same guidelines above for bedsharing in a hotel, just know there is a risk you will arrive and your mattress may not be firm enough. If that is the case, the post linked here from cosleepy has some great suggestions!
Separate Surface Cosleeping
If you are not able to bedshare safely while away, or your little one is used to sleeping in their own environment, you will want to set up a separate sleep surface. A pack-and-play or travel crib is a great alternative. To ease the transition to a new space during naps and at night, try to set the sleep space up as close to their sleep space at home as possible. Bring unwashed sheets and sleep sacks that smell like home. If the baby has a noise machine or certain music, bring that along. If you use blackout curtains, perhaps consider buying a travel blackout curtain. The closer the sleep space is to what the baby is used to, the more likely it is that naps will happen as they do at home.
Prior to your trip give your baby lots of time to play and explore their travel crib at home. The more familiar and comfortable baby is in their travel crib the easier the transition to sleep in the crib will be on your trip. Also, if you can take a few naps or nights leading up to your trip this can go a long way in getting baby good and comfortable in their space. Some babies love their pack and play while away, and others do not. Sammy, mama to E and S, mama to W both had different approaches to using the pack-and-play for naps while away:
“For hotel travel, we usually use a pack-and-play, even when we knew she won’t last long in it because it still gives us that few hours while we were awake that we didn’t need to be with her.” – S, mama to W
“Independent naps in her playpen during the day did not happen. Our trip involved lots of driving and activity so E had lots of naps on the go. This included plenty of car naps and we always took our ergobaby carrier with us which she sleeps well in. She also sometimes slept in the stroller but this was rarer. If we were sticking around our airbnb then she typically had contact naps and we just leaned into that.” – Sammy, mama to E
Just remember that even if you set up an almost identical sleep space as home and have done practice in the sleep space before travel sleep may still be a bit off at first since baby is in a new environment. So no need to worry if you don’t have time to practice before the trip or you plan to rent or borrow your sleep space while away. As S, mama to W shared: “You can fly with a pack and play, but we have borrowed or rented other sleep gear we’ve needed. When W was three months old we borrowed a bassinet from friends. Had there been a similar bassinet as the one we had at home available to rent I would have strongly considered it. It definitely impacted her, and therefore, my sleep.”
Sleep while flying
Travel and sleep on a plane is another natural source of concern. Will they sleep well? Will they sleep at all? Will they get so overtired and be disruptive to other passengers? Will our trip start off on the wrong foot? With so much uncertainty (and so much out of your control) it makes perfect sense to feel a bit worried.
Whenever I face moments of uncertainty (or whenever the parents I support do) I always bring the focus to the things I can control, and let go of the rest. For sleep on the plane, there are lots of little things we can do to support our little one’s sleep. But there is also a lot of letting go. It truly is a balance (so make sure you see the final section on this blog for mindset while traveling with little ones.)
Things you can do to support sleep on the plane
An obvious one – plan for contact naps. It may take some extra support for your little one to fall asleep (especially with all the distractions on a plane) but offering lots of connection, support and contact can be so helpful. Bring a carrier and walk the aisles, nurse or feed to sleep, snuggle and sing. Stroking between the eyebrows can be really soothing and encourage their eyes to close. If you have a regular contact napper you truly can lean into the routine you do at home and just expect it may take a bit longer than usual. Feel free to also layer in some new sleep associations leading up to your trip that are easy to do on the plane. Singing or shushing, bum patting and rubbing their back are great sleep associations that can be done anywhere.
“W has been a big contact napper all along. I think that was a really big advantage for plane travel. Having her sleep is very much the best way to pass the hours on a plane. As she has gotten older it’s a bit harder for her to sleep on the plane but with nursing and timing we managed to get good naps in.”
Dress your baby lightly and comfortably and pack layers if it gets cool. If they will be contact napping they will draw a lot of heat from your body, so having them dressed lightly with the ability to add a blanket will keep them from getting overheated (or sweaty which may leave them cool when they wake).
If your little one loves to sleep in their car seat, buying them their own seat on the plane and bringing along their car seat is another great alternative (and the safest way for them to travel.) It also is a safe place to put your baby to sleep if you are at risk of falling asleep while holding your baby. If it is a long flight, a redeye or you’re traveling solo without an extra set of hands to take turns holding the baby, bringing your car seat is an absolute must. It can also be super helpful if you have a really distractible little one. As mama Sammy shared: “The car seat also allowed us to pull the canopy and cover the seat with a blanket to make it a little darker and also block her view (she was so distractible by what was going on around her and the well meaning passengers behind us that kept waving and cooing at her … this made it impossible for her to truly relax and fall asleep even though she was on her way there…so the blanket definitely helped!)”
Remember that all you can do is offer opportunities to sleep, try to follow their typical routines, snuggle and support them to sleep in ways that are semi-familiar, and then let go of the rest. Even if you follow their routine perfectly, they still may not sleep well on the plane, and this is ok. Sammy, mama to E put it perfectly: “I was so nervous about her crying on the plane and bothering other passengers. I was reminded that babies deserve to travel and exist in public spaces just as everyone else! Babies cry and that’s ok!” – Sammy, mama to E
Dealing with time zones and jet lag
Crossing time zones with a baby can feel really overwhelming; we know ourselves how off our sleep can feel when we’re jet lagged, so of course we worry about how it’ll impact our baby’s sleep. It will hopefully be comforting to know that it typically it takes adults about one day for every hour of time difference, and many babies adjust faster than adults. Babies under six months do not have a fully established circadian rhythm, which in many cases can make this transition easier than an older baby or toddler. It can be a bit harder for older babies with a regular temperament who wake and sleep around the same time every day as they will have a harder time shifting to the new time.
Depending on how long you will be gone for and how many time zones you are crossing you may want to keep baby on their same schedule. If you’re away for less than a week or crossing less than three time zones you may want to simply keep baby on their typical time and follow their general rhythms and flows for their day.
If you decide to shift baby to the new time (or are forced to as you are crossing many time zones) there are a few things you can do to help baby adjust. First, you can use sunlight to your advantage. Natural lights works wonders on resetting our circadian rhythms! On your first full day, wake baby in the morning around their wake up time at home and expose them to sunlight within an hour of rising. Then follow their general rhythm for the rest of their day. Lean into their sleepy cues, follow their lead, and go through your bedtime routine as closely as possible to what you do at home.
“She did amazing crossing time zones. The first day she was sleepy, but she adjusted instantly because we tried to keep following her routine, had lots of sunlight and following her cues.” – Oriana, mama to P
Be patient as you make this change, and know that if your first few nights are tough baby will likely adjust soon enough.
Mindset
I truly believe the most helpful travel and sleep “tip” I can give you is to expect that sleep will not go according to plan, and also trust that it will be ok. Yes, there could be sleep disruption, but it will not be the end of the world. Remind yourself “I can cope with this” and “they cannot stay awake forever” during hard moments. And often, we are prepared for things to be a bit disrupted (or maybe even for it to be super challenging) we are usually pleasantly surprised by how things turn out.
Lean into their cues, prepare for lots of contact and on the go naps (and see successful independent naps as a BONUS) and let them catch up on sleep when they can. Take an “anything goes” mindset. Things may get super off course, but I promise you, they will eventually get back on track.
“Lean in to letting “rules” go out the window! Traveling is stressful so do whatever you need to make it easier for you and your little one(s). If this means screen time and letting them have a soother all day long – go for it, your sanity will thank you!” – Sammy, mama to E
Travel and sleep doesn’t have to be stressful. You really can have a few strategies in mind, then trust that things will go ok. My hope for you is that you can truly let go of all the things you cannot control, focus on what you can, and make some truly amazing memories on your vacation as possible. This last quote from Oriana, mama to P, sums it up beautifully… when I asked her what she would do differently on her trip in terms of travel and sleep, her response was: “Nothing! I enjoyed not stressing about sleep while away.” – Oriana, mama to P
