One of my favourite things to remind families and myself is that sleep is not linear. Before I became a mom, I naively thought that the newborn phase and the four-month sleep progression (more well-known as sleep regression, but I’ll get into all that below)was the most challenging part of nighttime parenting. I was soon humbled when my daughter, who was sleeping 6 hours at night, hit the 8-10 month sleep progression, which you can read about here. I had no idea there were sleep progressions beyond four months.
So what do parents do when all of a sudden, their baby’s sleep changes? It’s hard to know how to navigate these challenging times. In this blog, I’ll share exactly what is a sleep progression, when they generally occur, and some practical tips to help get you through.
What is a sleep progression?
A sleep progression, or sleep regression as it is more commonly known, is a period of disrupted sleep that coincides with a burst in development. And it is that burst in growth that I love the term sleep progression. While sleep can get worse, and it certainly can feel like you’re “going backwards” during these times, it is caused by your baby’s development moving forward. Even this simple shift from using the term sleep progression instead of sleep regression helps me during those sleepless weeks. By intentionally focusing on the fact that my daughter was learning and working on new skills, I was able to power through some of the frustrating and exhausting moments.
Parents tend to know within a few days when a sleep progression has hit. Usually, a baby’s sleep will be off suddenly, either during naps, nights or both. They also may want to nurse around the clock. They may also be extra fussy and want to be held all the time. Usually, there is a significant milestone or skill that a baby is working on around this time. Sleep might be off for a few weeks before things get better. Sleep progressions are very hard, and parents can become quite exhausted around these times.
It is common for sleep progressions to occur at 4, 6, 8-10, 12, 18 and 24 months. So very often in the first year and at least up until age two.
Aside from the four-month sleep progression, there isn’t any research that documents that sleep changes at the other progressions. But most parents (myself included) will tell you, based on their own experience, that these do occur.
Four-month sleep progression
The four-month sleep progression is the most common one talked about. When my daughter was born, I had many warnings that sleep would be rough around that time. But as I mentioned in the intro, no one warned me about the others. One of the reasons is that this sleep regression is particularly tough.
There are a few reasons is it is so tough. First, baby’s sleep cycles permanently change. Before this change, baby’s only have two stages of sleep: light sleep and deep sleep. When they go through this progression, their sleep cycles become more like adults, with four stages of sleep: stages 1-3 and REM sleep.
This change means that baby spends more time in the lighter stages of sleep. They often wake up easier and can become harder to transfer to the crib (or other safe sleep space) once this change occurs.
If nursing, mom’s milk supply may also dip around this time. Before 6-8 weeks, mom’s milk supply is regulated by her hormones. After 6-8 weeks, it is regulated by supply and demand. If baby hasn’t emptied regularly while nursing, the supply may dip, and they may wake more frequently at night to nurse.
Babies are also more easily distracted around this age, and many have begun working on rolling. They may want to practice rolling all day and night, causing naps to be short or more wake-ups at night. And sometimes, naps and nights are both really off.
Other Sleep Progressions
There isn’t scientific evidence that sleep changes at other times during infancy and toddlerhood the way it changes at four months. But it is very common to also experience sleep progressions at six months, sometime between 8-10 months, and also at 12, 18 and 24 months.
These sleep disturbances typically happen around periods of development. Working on physical milestones tends to cause babies to be extra wakeful. When a baby is learning to sit, scoot, crawl, stand, walk, jump or run, they often want to practice day or night. Bursts in mental and language development and learning to talk are typical times for sleep to be off as well.
Separation anxiety is another common sleep disturbance and can be part of why babies experience a sleep progression around 8-10, 12 and/or 18 months. Sleep is a very vulnerable state and represents major separation for little ones. If you think separation anxiety might be why your baby struggles to sleep during the day, practice leaving for short periods and returning to them. Games like peek-a-boo can also help babies work through separation anxiety. These help baby learn that you are always coming back when you leave, which may help with separation anxiety at night.
How to survive sleep progressions
You’re probably exhausted just reading all that I’ve described about sleep progressions above, even if you’re not in the middle of one right now. If you’ve yet to hit one, or you didn’t realize there were so many, here are some helpful tips to help get you through.
Make self-care a priority
It is so important to remember to take care of yourself in all seasons of motherhood. It is especially when you’re little one is going through a sleep progression. Remember, self-care is not selfish. You do it for the ones you love as well. You can’t give from an empty cup, and you’re more likely to give your baby the support and connection they need during a sleep progression when you’re recharged.
As discussed in this blog post, self-care doesn’t have to be a grand event. Of course, if you have a partner or village, lean on them and take time for yourself. But there are also lots of ways to practice self-care with your baby by your side. Whether you bundle your baby up and head out for a walk, nap when the baby naps, or fuel your body with nourishing foods, find something that energizes you and brings you joy every day.
Lean on your village
Sleep progressions aren’t the time to try and tackle everything yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to pitch in around the house or to take on some of the soothing at night. You can also ask close friends and family to drop off a meal, pick up your groceries or hold the baby so you can shower. Even during the later regressions (especially if you’re back to work), it’s ok to ask for help. No one was meant to do everything alone.
Give baby lots of time to work on new skills
Whether they are learning to roll, sit, stand, scoot, crawl, walk or talk, they want to practice until it’s mastered. Day or night. Giving them more time to practice during the day may help them sleep at night. Or, at the very least, more practice will help them master the skill (and get you all sleeping) sooner.
Use a carrier if your little one wants to be held all the time
Some little ones want to be help all the time during sleep progressions. A good carrier can be so helpful if you have a baby or toddler who wants to be held a lot during these sleepy days. I love the Beluga Buckle carrier (linked here and not sponsored) for babies over 15lbs, and still use it with O (who is almost 21 months at the time I published this blog.)
Focus on the positive perspective
As hard as these progressions are, remember they are temporary. Usually, things level out within a few weeks, and sleep improves. It can be so tough in the moment, but reminding yourself nothing lasts forever can go a long way.
Also, focusing on all the amazing new things your little one is doing can help so much. Reminding yourself that the sleep progression is happening because your baby is healthy, developing and thriving can make those tired moments feel worth it. The hard, sleepless weeks will pass. And you will wake up one morning and it will seem as if they grew up a little bit more overnight. It’s one of the best ways to find joy amidst the exhaustion.
