As 2022 ends and the new year begins, you may be thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Last year, as a first-time mom on maternity leave, I didn’t make one. I didn’t want to add anything extra to my plate. Looking back on this past year, my first full year of motherhood, I’ve learned so many things. I made some very simple changes in how I approach morherhood that have improved my overall well-being. As I was reflecting on 2022 the other day, I thought these would make great New Years’ resolutions for new moms (or anyone, really.)
So today, I am sharing with you three simple New Years’ resolutions for moms: redefine self-care, spend more time outside and tune out the noise.
Spend more time outside
One great New Years’ resolution for moms (that will improve sleep for you and your little one) is to spend more time outside. This is my New Year’s resolution for 2023. Although we spend quite a bit of time outdoors already, I feel we could be better at getting outside in the winter months.
Benefits of Being Outside
There are so many benefits to spending time outdoors. When you spend time outside, your immune system, digestion and metabolism improve. There are health benefits to vitamin D exposure. Being outside improves your mood, and studies show that stress levels go down within minutes.
Regular time outdoors also helps establish our circadian rhythm, our internal biological clock, which is crucial for a good night’s sleep, especially for babies. Babies are born with an undeveloped circadian rhythm. It takes anywhere from 2-6 months to develop fully. Exposure to natural sunlight during the day (especially in the early morning hours or just before sunset) and darkness at night help establish the circadian rhythm.
I notice a huge difference in how O and I sleep when we have regular time outdoors. Getting outside within a few hours of waking each morning helps tremendously and is also one of my favourite ways to start the day. It is also one of the ways I get back into routine when sleep is distrusted (and I’ll definitely be incorporating more outdoor time to get back into a routine next week after the holidays.)
One of the best things about getting outside is that it doesn’t have to be complicated. Nor does it have to be for long periods. Even a few minutes can make a difference.
How O and I Spend Time Outside
In the spring, summer and fall, I often sit out on my deck with a coffee first thing in the morning while O plays outside. When she was younger, she would sit on a blanket and watch nature. Now that she’s older, I sometimes bring toys out for her, but we often sit and watch the sunrise together, taking in all that surrounds us. We later wander over to her swing for a bit or go for a walk. We sometimes venture to the park, but more often than not, we explore our backyard.
In the winter, it’s a bit trickier for sure. And we don’t get out first thing anymore since it’s dark. We live in Atlantic Canada and get some harsh winter weather that makes it hard to get out with little ones.
After feeling too cooped up last winter, I’ve invested in good winter gear for O (I highly recommend merino wool base layers) in hopes that we get out more this year. We have an excellent stroller liner and a baby-wearing winter jacket (linked it here because it’s amazing), so there is no reason not to get out unless it is frigid.
Getting outside is one of the best things you can do for your overall health and well-being, and you and your little ones sleep. Even a few minutes can make a difference and can easily be done without investing in a ton of gear (unless you love it like we do and WANT to spend more time outside) which makes it a simple, realistic New Years’ resolution for moms.
Redefine self-care
In 2022, I listened to an audiobook, “The Highly Sensitive Parent” by Elaine Aron and a podcast by Taylor Kulik (both linked below) that changed my perspective of self-care. When you think about it, self-care just means taking care of yourself. Most “self-care for moms” centers around luxurious things (pedicures and yoga classes) or escaping from your children for dates and girl’s nights. And while I know those things are also important, they aren’t things we can do every day. We should all be taking care of ourselves daily, which for most of us means finding pockets of time for ourselves when our kids are around.
“The Highly Sensitive Parent” by Elaine Aron (audiobook) – click here
This realization led to a significant perspective shift for me. I began to find small ways to recharge throughout the day, every day, instead of waiting for a block of time to myself.
I define self-care as doing something daily that brings me joy, refills my cup and improves my well-being.
What Self-Care Looks Like For Me
For me, journaling, getting outdoors, moving my body, and showering are all things I do to look after myself. I find joy in the simple things, like a sunrise or a sip of coffee, daily. I also view booking appointments with my chiropractor or therapist as ways I practice self-care as a mom.
And, of course, I look forward to time alone. I also look forward to treating myself to new things (I’m the first to admit I did a bit of Boxing Day shopping for myself). And I love a good date night with my husband. But I no longer see these things as the only way to get a break to recharge.
What I love about this definition is self care really can be anything! And it will look different for everyone. The examples above are how I practice self-care; your list probably looks very different. Some great places to start are eating nourishing meals (I’ve added “The Postnatal Depletion Cure” by Oscar Serrallach to my 2023 to-read list) or looking after your mental health, or practicing good sleep hygiene.
The important thing to remember with self-care is that your needs matter too. And you should take care of yourself every day. We give so much of ourselves to our children (as we should), but it’s impossible to give from an empty cup. But refilling our cup doesn’t have to be complicated or away from our babies.
So I invite you to take the pressure off making self-care a grand event in 2023 and start looking at it as the little things you do each day for your well-being. Something as small as a simple perspective change is a fantastic New Years’ Resolution for moms.
Tune out the noise
The last thing I did last year that I think would be an excellent New Years’ resolution for moms is tune out the noise (i.e. everyone else’s opinion.) I genuinely believe that when we let go of society’s unrealistic expectations of baby sleep, follow our child’s unique cues, rhythms and sleep needs and trust our intuition, we stress less about sleep. I learned this early on (which you can read about here), but where I struggled for a long time was tuning out everyone else’s opinion.
If you’re a mom I am sure you have got been asked if your baby was sleeping through the night before. If you’re a mom-to-be, brace yourself, this question is going to come at you earlier than you expect. I was asked if my daughter was sleeping through the night for the first time when she was three weeks old. Of course, she wasn’t. And guess what, she still doesn’t (which is also normal.)
At three weeks old, I could laugh off that question because it seemed ridiculous that she should be sleeping through at that age. But once she was a bit older and this question was followed with (well-intentioned) advice on how to get her to sleep through, I was bothered.
I felt like I was being judged as a parent. How O slept was a reflection of how “good of a mom” I was. And when I began being upfront about bedsharing, or our plans to nurse beyond infancy, I was sometimes met with strange looks or questions about when I’d stop those things.
It has taken a lot of work on my end (and some therapy), but I am now in a place where I feel confident in my parenting choices. It has allowed me to ignore advice that doesn’t align with my values and tune out any judgment on the choices I make.
It’s incredibly freeing. And it’s my wish for every single mom in this community.
I hope, at the very least, the last resolution is something you can take with you into 2023.
Which of these resolutions are you going to make for 2023? Let me know in the comments below.
