Contact naps are seriously one of my favourite things about motherhood! I spent years dreaming of cozy baby snuggles, and once O arrived, I wanted to soak up as many of them as possible. If you read my first post, you know contact naps were part of our routine during our newborn days. But contact naps didn’t stop there – in fact, O still contact naps a few times a week at 16 months old because neither of us is ready to give it up.
As I share more of O’s sleep journey, you’ll see that we’ve had seasons where O exclusively contact napped and seasons where she would have more independent sleep in her routine. Even during phases of “more independent sleep,” she would have at least one contact nap a day until I returned to work when O was 14 months old. They work for us, and we love them, so there is no reason to cut them out.
In this post, I will share why I LOVE contact naps. I know not everyone loves them, and that’s ok. My hope with this post is to help make contact naps something you enjoy (or tolerate) if they aren’t your jam but your baby is in a season where they need them. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, help you enjoy those snuggles guilt free if you are feeling pressure to stop and normalize mother and baby’s desire to be close to each other.
1. Bonding with O
One reason I love contact naps is that it is my favourite way to bond with O. During the newborn days, O napped on me (or my husband) almost exclusively. In those very early weeks, we spent as much time skin-to-skin as we possibly could. I had an overwhelming desire to be in contact with her. These are some of my fondest memories from the newborn days: O on my chest, skin-to-skin, feeling her warmth and breathing in her scent (is there anything in the world that smells better than a newborn baby?)
As O got older, we’ve had other seasons where we had lots of contact naps: during illnesses, teething, and when O fractured her ankle at 11.5 months old (stay tuned -I’ll share more about this as I continue O’s sleep journey series), not to mention developmental progressions (often referred to as sleep regressions) that notoriously impact sleep. During these challenging times, I loved being her comfort and her safe space. I love that simply being there, holding her, can help her get the rest she needs. I am also the first to admit these times are exhausting as a parent, and it’s perfectly natural to crave a break (if this resonates, scroll down to my third reason for loving contact naps). But I’ve noticed that once we’re on the other side of these difficult phases, O and I come out of them feeling so connected, and I’m sure all our cuddle sessions have a lot to do with that.
2. Permission to rest
As someone who sometimes struggles to slow down, one of the main reasons I love contact naps is it gives me permission to rest. And rest is so essential during the postpartum period. When O naps independently (or in someone else’s arms), I always feel the need to be doing something. But when she is lying on my chest, I have no option but to rest. To sit and just be or do something for me. It took some getting used to, and there were days when I felt unproductive. But I would remind myself, “this is important,” and that too soon, the day would come when she wouldn’t sleep wrapped in my arms.
Once I surrendered to contact naps, I began to crave these restful moments during my day. I was never a fan of the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice simply because naps don’t work wonders for me unless we’ve had a rough night. I often wake up feeling worse off and groggy. Of course, I sometimes did sleep when O slept (and still do from time to time), but building rest into my day during the early months did so much more for my well-being than a nap. And what better way to rest and refill your cup than cuddling a sleeping baby? This leads me to my third reason for loving contact naps…
3. “Me time”
While giving myself permission to rest, contact naps also give me time to do something I enjoy. Yes, I am limited to an extent in what I can do, but I always have a plan to do something for me while O naps on me. It’s my time to read a book, catch up on reality TV, or listen to a podcast. Sometimes I journal, listen to a meditation, or enjoy sipping tea or coffee and staring at O while she sleeps. Lately, I’ve been using O’s contact naps to write my blog posts, study for my sleep certification, or work on building my website. There have also been many times when I will get her down for a nap in a wrap or carrier. This gives me the freedom to go for a walk, take the time to do a face mask, do my make up or whatever other self-care I need that day.
I always make sure I have a few things nearby that I enjoy so I don’t get stuck mindlessly scrolling during her nap (this has happened more times than I can count, and I never walk away from these naps feeling rejuvenated or like I got the “break” I needed.) This took a little while to get down pat, but I try to remember to grab my headphones, books, phone water, and a coffee/tea or snack when I know I’m settling in for a long nap.
4. Longer nap for O
O always naps longer when she is on me than when she sleeps independently. I can pretty much count on her sleeping 1-2 hours if she is having a contact nap. While in no way am I suggesting that babies NEED these long naps (lots of babies do just fine on cat naps, especially during the early days), some babies need a bit of a longer nap to feel rested. ***This is one of those pieces where I will ask you to use your intuition; if your baby thrives on cat naps, great – no need to change anything! If your baby needs more than one long nap a day, this is also fine. The vital thing to take away from this is you know your baby, and if they seem to be needing a long nap but it isn’t happening in the crib, a contact nap may be your answer.
O has always done best with one long nap a day, with some shorter naps in the mix. And now that she is on only one nap a day, for the most part, we want to be sure it’s a long one if we can (I’ll share more about this on the future when I talk about nap transitions). She is just not herself if she has only cat naps. Contact naps help ensure she gets the rest she needs. Be cautious of baby getting too many long naps, though … We learned the hard way to cap O’s long nap of the day around 2 hours and to keep tabs on her total daytime sleep. We went through a phase of false starts and split nights when she was around 7-9 months from sleeping too many hours during the day (I will get into all the details on this in a post coming soon).
5. More freedom (because O will nap pretty much anywhere)
Last but not least (actually probably my favourite reason for contact naps) is O will nap pretty much anywhere, which gives our family so much freedom to do the activities we enjoy. There are A LOT of reasons for this (O’s temperament, her ability to sleep in light etc.), but the fact that my body is one of her strongest sleep associations has a lot to do with this. Moms are often told that it is a bad thing to nurse or rock their babies to sleep, but I beg to differ. If it works for the mom, there is no harm being done. And it can help her get out and about more.
Since O will happily nap in my arms (it is her favourite place to sleep, I am sure), we’ve been able to do so many things that we could never do if O needed to nap in a crib. O has slept in a carrier during hikes, snowshoeing or camping. We’ve used our wrap and carriers for naps while visiting with friends. On holidays they are a lifesaver, so we aren’t missing out on fun with our families. She has napped in my arms on our boat or while sitting on the beach (in the shade, of course). My husband and I often say we are so lucky that she naps on me willingly because it allows us to take her out and do the things we want to do instead of being stuck at home during nap times.
Of course, we spend most of her naps at home because we’re not on the go seven days a week, but it is nice to know if we want to go out and do something on the weekend, O will likely have no issues going to sleep when needed. We simply implement what we can from her nap time routine while on the go. Because most of her sleep associations are tied to me (nursing, singing, rocking/swaying, bum patting), she will usually fall asleep in different environments fairly easily. There have been times when this backfires, and she won’t nap. And there was a day that would stress me out and send me mad, but once we learned to go with the flow and focus on what we could control, we were able to enjoy these naps on the go and make so many beautiful memories with O.
